The Morning Animal is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green ball fields:
He leadeth me beside the still hardwoods.
He restoreth my passion:
He leadeth me in the paths of sportsmanship for His name’s sake.
Yea, suddenly I walk through the valley of the shadow of ESPN,
I would once fear no evil: For thou was with me;
Thy skywave and thy ionosphere, they comforted me.
But thou preparest a program before me in the presence of a smaller market;
Thou annointest my ears with dust; My cup runneth dry.
Surely apathy and heresy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Bored forever.
– by J.Wade Harrell,