Once Upon a Time in the West
There were two outlaw gangs. One was known as the Big12 and the other was known as the Pac10. The Big12 lost two of its members, ol’ Neb and Colorado but they still called themselves the Big12 because of another gang up north who had eleven then twelve once ol’ Neb came. The Pac10 changed their name to the Pac12 when Colorado rode into town and Utah with ’em.
Down in Dallas, the members of the Big12 played a game of Longhorn Stud and Tex said since he was wealthier than the other gang members that he wanted a bigger cut than the others. Oklahoma Bob stared back and squinted but didn’t say anything. That was when ‘ol Neb and Colorado walked out the door.
Oklahoma Bob shook his head but realized he would get a better cut too. The game continued and then Tex laid down a good hand and raked in all the chips. The Aggie threw down his hand in disgust and cried “Cheater!”
Tex smiled with a big stogie in his mouth. “It ain’t cheatin’, its all about usin’ the resources you have.”
“We all agreed to allow you to have a bigger cut,” Aggie said. “But we didn’t know anything about this card cheatin’ deal you call Longhorn Stud.”
Tex smiled at the sheriff across the room named Beebe who was sipping a drink with a grinning snake oil salesman named Espy.
“No one said Espy couldn’t buy into our game to make it more interesting,” Tex retorted. “We all agreed we could call our own card games.”
“Yes, but no one can match Espy,” Aggie scowled. “By the way, we been talkin’ to the SEC gang. They said we could go east and run with them.”
“We would all hate to see you leave and lose what a great card rivalry we have had for so many years,” Tex said whiningly.
Aggie chugged down his brew and stomped out of the door.
“SEC said we could come too,” Missourri said.
“I heard they said you couldn’t,” Cowboy Pickens chimed in.
“In the end, this gang is startin’ to stink,” Okalhoma Bob said. “I can’t guarantee you we’ll be stickin’ around much longer either.”
Tex picked up his chips. “See you back here in Dallas, soon, Bob.”
Oklahoma Bob rode west to the saloon where the Pac12 was holed out. “We got a deal for you.”
“What is that?” one of them said.
“We want to join your gang and, in the end we’d like Cowboy Pickens here as well.”
“We might be able to do that,” they said. “I’ve always respected you and Pickens is quite a character. You fellers play a fair game of poker.”
The doors creaked and in walked Tex, surprisingly. Heads shook.
“What are you doing here, Tex?” Oklahoma Bob said.
Tex straightened his bow tie. “We want to come too and we’ll bring Red Raider to make it even.”
The Pac12 members looked around and laughed raciously. “I suppose you want to bring your Longhorn Stud game with you. We don’t play Longhorn stud here and everybody knows you only play with marked cards. You already caused a mutiny in your gang and you want to come here and ruin ours too? You guys from the Big12 need to go back home and keep your Longhorn Stud. I don’t think we’ll be accepting any more members today.”
“This ain’t the end of this,” Oklahoma Bob said. “See you in Dallas.”